It all took me by surprise the day after Thanksgiving. I came home after a long, tiring, but fun day at my mom's. I tucked myself into bed wondering if maybe I could pinch a few bucks from my car savings account to get in on some of the deals from Black Friday.
The next morning when I woke up I realized something had changed. The day before I had been surrounded by family. But suddenly if felt as if I was completely alone in the world. No one understood the things I was going through. No one could possible understand how I felt. The house was a mess, the food I had made for Thanksgiving didn't turn out how I wanted it, I was missing out on all the good deals, and I was alone in my misery. I turned on Susan Boyle's CD, The Gift and forced myself to start doing the dishes. Somewhere in the middle this song came on:
http://youtu.be/O-bDyqEaZrI
and I lost it. I didn't even know what the words were, but the music was sad and sweet and it killed me. I started sobbing, trying to keep my back to Savannah so she couldn't see how sad I was. After a nice good cry I felt much better, but it really made me realize that I need to be aware of certain feelings that are apt to come up during this holiday season.
There is so much expectation and anticipation leading up to each big day and that pretty much only leaves room for a letdown afterward. It is so easy to feel entitled to some solid self pity. But that only leads to the death spiral downward into more and more depression.
So in order to fight back against these mighty foes, I have decided to think on good things. (Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things Phil 4:8)
I figure there are other people out there experiencing the same things, so I am going to list some things that make me happy and bring me joy. Here we go...
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make this... |
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makes me happy. |
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3. Knowing I've gotten the perfect present, if not the perfect hiding place for it, makes me happy.   |
4. Family and food combined DEFINITELY make me happy.
5. My brother's ability to fall asleep anywhere at anytime makes me smile.
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| 8. All these kiddos make me happy |
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| So does this little cuddle-bug. She makes me want to squeeze her like a little teddy bear. That's not weird, is it? 9. High thread count sheets, peppermint mochas from Starbucks, cozy days in bed with the rain falling outside the window, the vibrant colors on the trees in the fall, decorating the Christmas tree, a really good song on the radio, Savannah dancing and swaying to said song on radio, ALL make. me. happy. There is a good possibility that there will be more posts like this in the coming weeks and months. Each time Miss Melancholy tries to invite herself in, I will beat her off with things that make me happy. And you, my lucky readers, will get to be there every step of the way. There is so much to be happy about and it's just feelings that get in the way and blind me to all the good stuff. I just realized my list has 9 items on it. That's just silly. I can't have a 9 item list! We must make it 10! 10. Getting comments on my blog makes me sooo happy! There. As it is written, so let it be done. |
When are you getting your tree? I think I must be there to help decorate it. And also, are you changing Alex's party to Sunday so we can be a part of the festivities? Pretty please?
ReplyDeleteAlso also also, I did NOT get a piece of that apple pie (due to circumstances beyond my control) and I'd like a do-over.
And last but not least, I am SO excited about the gifts I got you for Christmas and can't wait for you to open them. Speaking of, I think we're going to Mom's on Christmas Eve. You'll be there, right?
Well, Ruth Anne, I ate your piece of pie for you and I must say--your sister did a bang up job.!! My pumpkin pies on the other hand!! I think we have to crown Jay the Dessert King this Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteAnd Liz, so good to see you put Miss Melancholy in her place! Think she's been trying to visit over here as well. Will use your battle techniques to run her off.
Liz,
ReplyDeleteSorry I have taken SO long to comment. I normally am feeding Macy when i read blogs, so it's hard to type too ;) But, I read every post. I love reading :) Sorry to hear about all you are going through. It's encouraging to hear how you are taking it.
Hang in there.
Praying for you~Jen
Dearest Liz,
ReplyDeleteI am slightly offended that I didn't even know about your blog until today. It took me being home sick, laying in bed, to happen across it while reading RA's blog. :) And, I am so thankful I got to read every single post! For the last couple hours I have been laughing, crying, weeping, smiling and enjoying every word. It's so fulfilling to get a even a small glimpse into your thoughts and battles, dreams and hopes. You are so courageous! I think about you every day and pray for you often. As you know already, God is merciful and only sends us situations so we can be saved from the yucky stuff that is our human nature. I'm confident that He will give you the strength you need to persevere and set your mind on things above. Thank you for sharing your blog and I look forward to reading it in the future. We need to get together and have a little Christmas party. :) I, also, did not get a piece of your pie, so I'm expecting that you'll bring a pie to our party. :)
Love,
Maryanne
Awwww...I had to comment when I read your #10 that comments make you happy. =)
ReplyDeleteIt was good to read your post, it helped me today! I think that sometimes we can see other people's situations and they look so much better compared to ours. We tend to forget that it's like a rule or something, that everyone has to go through their own hard times in order to become the person they are. So no matter what other people's situations look like, easier or something, they're not necessarily. We all have our own battles.
So while I am not saying what you're going through is easy by ANY stretch of the imagination, I am thankful to be reminded that for me in my situation, I need to not focus on poor me either! To force myself to get up and do the dishes, like you said. I have those days too, I think we all do.
I love reading your blog, in fact, I logged in to my reader for just a moment and out of the 50+ blogs I have on there, I went straight to yours. =)