I would not be like those silly other girls and settle for less than perfection. I would NOT be engaging in a "starter marriage". Nope, I was going to find someone and marry for life. We would raise our kids in a good christian home and grow old together without ever losing the ability to make each other laugh.
Don't get me wrong, I've dated my share of guys who were definitely NOT marriage material. At least not to my exacting standards. But I went into those relationships aware they were temporary and not "the real thing".
And then about 4 years ago I met C. He was smart, able to keep up with my witty sarcasm, and had just the right amount of aloofness to catch my attention. We began to spend more time together and I learned he was raising his 4 year old daughter as a single father. Awww so sweet...He was the man of the family and took care of whatever his mother or grandmother needed. Score! A family man! He was above average intelligent. He had also served in the military...even the same branch I had and gotten out a few years before I had.
The only downside? My best friend (R) hated him. And the feeling was mutual. I chalked it up to them both being somewhat know-it-allish and neither wanting to give up their role as king of the mountain. As I got closer to C, my relationship with R became more and more strained. Eventually we lost contact almost completely. I felt I had to constantly play peacemaker between them and it was not a job I relished.
Cut forward to several months ago and I see she might have had a point after all.
After marrying C 2 1/2 years ago, things began to come out of the woodwork. Things that would have been absolute deal breakers had I known them before taking our vows. Things that I refuse to have my sweet sweet baby girl grow up exposed to. Here's just a sampler of some of the "things":
1. His marriage to his other daughter's mom (so she would be medically covered during pregnancy) and immediate annulment....not actually the true story. In fact, as I found out a mere 1.5 months ago, he NEVER bothered to get the annulment OR divorce. That's right folks. I am married to a man who is married to someone else.
2. After talking to the mother of my stepdaughter, I was made aware of a marriage prior to her. A marriage my sweet, darling, husband never bothered to mention.
3. By putting my sleuthing skills to work I found out the 1st divorce overlapped the 2nd marriage making it not legal. Which puts my marriage back on legal ground.
4. My husband's response (after outright denying most of it) "It was before I met you. It has nothing to do with our relationship.
5. Last but not least, the fact that ALL debt is in my name (oh honey, I just have some unpaid student loans, so my credit is shot.). Had I done a little more research BEFORE I married him I would have found out he had in fact declared bankruptcy with wife #2.
6. And I can't forget to mention the gambling. A man who I have never once seen gamble. And yet he managed to rack up THOUSANDS of dollars of debt. On credit cards that were in my name alone.
Some prince charming.
To say I have suffered humiliation, betrayal and a severe blow to my self esteem is just a wee bit of an understatement. And to this day C doesn't get what the big deal is.
Now I have entered a whole new world. A land of bankruptcy, eventual divorce, single parenthood, and loser land. How the mighty have fallen.
Here I am at the age of 30 about as far as I could possibly be from where I had pictured myself.
BUT God has been faithful. He has stood by me. He has given me a new mantra....
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Rom 12:12.
As crazy as it sounds to me right now, I DO have hope for my future. I have hope that there is a godly man, a good man, a caring and honest, and upright man out there for me. I realize that now is not the time to jump into another relationship, but I believe that the man I am meant to be with is out there, waiting for me. In the words of the great ballad singer Micheal Buble "I just haven't met you yet".
This first post is just to lay out the background of all the events leading up to today. It is my hope that the following posts will be humorous, lighthearted, and full of hope.
I thank you for taking the time to read this.
This is me, rejoicing in my fresh start!
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