I don't know what has changed. Maybe it was getting 2 nights of uninterrupted sleep in a row (thanks to C), maybe it was Dr. Ray's potions finally kicking in, maybe it was God thinking I needed a reprieve, but whatever it was I feel GREAT today. For the first time in weeks, when I was at work I actually didn't mind working. I didn't feel angry and bitter at the patients coming in or like a ticking bomb about to go off.
When I got home the good feelings continued. The house was a little messy, but didn't overwhelm me. C brought Savannah back (and succeeded in getting my toilet unclogged. HALLELUJAH!!) and it was such a joy to play with her and watch her do her own thing around the house and just love on her. I cannot beLIEVE how much I love that little girl! I held her and rocked her before sticking her in bed and almost didn't want to put her down. She is so sweet and I am so lucky!
Ruth Anne is on her way down, bringing her whole household with her. In fact, she might even be moving things back into her new/old home as I am typing this. That is a big contributor towards my good mood.
I got a new haircut and highlights last night and am quite happy with it. The more I get used to it, the more I like it. Just that small change is enough to lift my mood even more.
I saw The Duke yesterday and had a really good session. I just dumped everything out on him, from my chronically clogged toilet, to the creditors calling, to Savannah not sleeping, to my weight gain...everything. He suggested I make an appointment with my doc at the VA and get back on Prozac for this stressful time in my life. I think the crazy look in my eye might have scared him a little. I agree with him about the Prozac. I thought I would be able to tough it out, but I think this period in my life isn't just about moving into an apartment and the paperwork of a bankruptcy and divorce. That stuff might not take forever to do, but the effects will be felt much longer. And they take a toll on me. For that reason I am going to get back with my old friend Prozac. I had thought our time together was done, but it appears we have at least one more reunion.
I am going to really focus these last few weeks of the year to eating healthy, drinking lots of water, taking vitamins and getting my body as strong as possible and then doing another round of HCG after the new year. I have never really done the prep work before a round and I think it will really help me get rid of the 32 pounds that have no business clinging to my tummy, hips and bum. Those 32 pounds are having a huge affect on my physical abilities and how I interact with Savannah, on my emotional state, on my comfort level around friends...they are affecting every area of my life and I want them gone.
Dr Ray told me that as my body is brought back into balance I will experience the energy and desire to run again like I used to. I literally have dreams about running and feeling the stress leave my body and my muscles rejoicing to be stretching and moving. I am so looking forward to getting into shape again.
I think I am going to go relax in a hot bath, read up on what I need to do to prepare for HCG, then have a good night's sleep.
And tomorrow, some shopping with my mom! REALLY good deals at Fred Meyer's and Toys R Us tomorrow. Just FYI.
I'm doing HCG with you. We are going to ROCK it. And we're going to be skinny. And then at some point we're taking our skinny selves on a vacation to a tropical destination.
ReplyDeleteIf you want me to watch Savannah during your doc appt just let me know. =)