And then life intervened...

Hmmm...how do I break this to you all?...Remember my last post? The one where I was going to do a cleanse? And exercise every day? ...it hasn't really worked out that way.  But don't worry!  I'm still not one of the masses of impulsive people who fall to the wayside after tiring of the healthy lifestyle. 
Monday I took the first capsule for the cleanse system I got. You are supposed to take one in the morning and then one at night.   And eat whole foods.  I was doing great, but had a headache that seemed to come and go throughout the day.  It started to worsen towards the end of the day and by the time I left work it was a full-blown migraine.  I got Savannah and then drove home with a plastic bag on my lap feeling like I was going to vomit any minute. 
I felt shaky and weak and was so scared I was going to pass out while driving.  I finally made it home and got Savannah inside and I laid on the floor while giving her a dinner of spoonfuls of peanut butter, slices of apple, and cheerios.  Please don't call child welfare services.  I promise this isn't a usual dinner for her.  She totally seemed to enjoy it though.  Then I proceeded to throw up in a bowl.  It was so surreal because I didn't want to freak her out, so between heaves I would look up at her worried face and grin like "isn't this so much fun???"  Totally psychotic.  She kept pulling the bowl trying to see what was in it.  Not my most favorite night ever. 
After surviving the night (which I wasn't at all sure I would do) I felt much better in the morning.  Unfortunately on that day, Derill went running before I was able to get to the park. I secretly didn't mind but we both promised to keep working on a time that worked for both of us.
On Wednesday I actually made it to the park, but couldn't get ahold of Derill and after having read a story about a woman getting attacked in THAT VERY PARK on New Years Day and after seeing several homeless men walk by in the dark I decided there was no way I was going to put myself and Savannah in danger by walking it by ourselves.  So away we went to home.  TODAY however, was different.  I had an appointment with the VA to get back on Prozac (which I will get to in a minute) and C offered to watch Savannah for that.  Which allowed me to meet up with Derill after my appointment and WE ACTUALLY WALKED.  That's right...it actually happened.  And it was wonderful and glorious and just like the good old days.  Minus the running.  But I'm sure that will come in time.  It felt good to be moving and to catch up on each other's lives. 
I have also decided to forgo the cleanse and jump back into another round of HCG.  I am still a little if-fy thinking maybe I should wait and see what the walking will do for me before doing the drastic diet.  I also don't want to kick my body into starvation mode by working out more than the low calories can tolerate.  But I figure that walking is light exercise and I should be fine to do both.  And hopefully by doing the walking it will help me stay motivated while on the diet.  So tomorrow I am going to start taking the drops but instead of binging, I will just eat like I normally do, maybe throw in an extra fast food but not get out of hand.  I don't want to gain tons on my binge days and have to start off by losing it before I get into the stuff I really want gone.  (If you are reading this and don't know what I'm talking about, you can Google HCG diet to see what it's all about.  It's a low calorie diet that is for a short period of time but that keeps the weight off for good).
All in all I am happy with the way things are going so far.  I still feel confident that I am starting an exercise program that will be permanent and will increase in intensity over time.
I had two therapy appointments today.  One with The Duke and one with the VA.  In my last session with The Duke he invited me to bring Savannah to my next meeting with him.  I had shown him pictures of her before and he seemed genuinely interested in her.  Cause he's cool like that.  Anyway, I brought her today and although we didn't get a lot of talking done because we were busy staring in awe at the glory that is Savannah, I think he really got a kick out of her.  He told  me he used to do therapy programs for children and I think he misses it.  Now he has seminars where he teaches about children's therapy.  He totally played with her and wanted to know what words she says and how she's sleeping and if she's teething.  It was fun to show him that side of my life.  She is normally pretty shy around strangers and although she stayed on the same couch as me, she chattered away to him and did her tricks (pointing to the parts of her face as we named them, repeating words after us like shoe and hat and duck, playing peekaboo...you get the idea.)
They were both very at ease with each other which made me even more glad for my choice in therapists.
My second appointment was this evening.  The nurse practitioner I talk to is named Betty and I've gone to her for several years but usually only every 6 months to a year.  She is super down to earth and blunt but not in a mean way at all.  I really like her.  She is a good listener and responds appropriately.  Sounds simple, but it really means a lot when you are baring your soul to someone.
She was aware of some of the problems with C I've had over the years, but the major stuff like his using my credit cards I hadn't told her.  Mostly because of her bluntness and my need to defend him at that point.
Today I laid the whole story out for her.  Her jaw was literally hanging open for most of it.  When I told her about finding the suicide notes she leaned forward and looked me in the eye and said "Those were his ace in the holes that he had ready to pull out when he needed them.  He is a CON ARTIST". 
She was super supportive and kept telling me that she could say with absolute certainty that I was going to be just fine.  I would land on my feet and this would NEVER happen to me again.  She said I was tough as nails.  She applauded the action I had already taken and the swiftness in executing it.  (It DID all happen really fast.  I can't believe things came to a head only 3 1/2 months ago.)  In short, she was a one man cheering squad.  It was just what I needed.  To hear from the mouth of a professional that I handled things the right way and that the things that happened were not my fault.  She emphasized that he has had years to perfect the art of lying and his ability to read people and find where they are vulnerable.  She also said that it is my personality to want to fix things and make things better for people.  But the fact that I have Savannah to protect will ensure that I never get into that kind of relationship again.  And she is totally right.  There is no way I am going to get involved with a fixer-upper.  Any person I bring into her life is going to be good, and kind, and honest, and secure in their relationship with God as well as their finances and employment. 
I am so grateful that God has brought these two therapists into my life.  There are a LOT of them out there.  And I've had my share of bad ones, but right when I needed them the most, God brought the perfect ones for me and my situation. 
So far this year is looking much better than last already.  I feel like I am on a good path that will lead to good things.  I hope you all are feeling the same.
I will do a post with more pictures once I get my camera back from my mom.  My sneaky little brother borrowed it  and "forgot" to give it back.  Hmmmm....likely story.
For now good night and Happy Friday!