I can't believe it's been almost a year since I last posted. Actually, maybe I can believe it. I am at a loss as to where to begin, and how to catch up and to be frank, I have been overwhelmed thinking about posting again. So I will start small, not worry if I skip things and lower my expectations a bit.
Since posting last, I have moved into a super happy little house. No more apartment! It is small but has everything we need. And by we, I mean myself, Savannah, and Alex. Alex moved in with me at the beginning of the school year (September). I have hopes that she will continue to stay with me although C jonlyt signed over temporary custody until June. I am next door to my mom's cousin (Aunt Reva), around the corner from my mom, about 5 minutes from Savannah's "school", and about 7 minutes from my work. The location is perfect and the house fits our family like a glove. I am so blessed.
C has been living with his latest new girlfriend, Leslie in Eugene. She has a daughter the same age as Alex and a 7 year old son. I found out about this new girlfriend in January. Acting on an impulse I sent her a message on facebook. I explained to her the reasons I divorce him. I told her he was still married to Alex's biological mother. I told her he stole from me and bankrupted me. I said I wished someone had warned me and that she didn't have to believe me, but to trust her gut instinct and not to ignore the red flags. And then I hit send and proceeded to have a nervous breakdown second-guessing myself. I waited on edge for a reply. And I got it the next day when she changed her profile picture to a photo of her, Chris and her two children. Ouch.
Time went on and I found out Leslie is an apartment manager (jackpot for C). She never actually invited C to live with her. He showed up in February and never left. This coincided with the time when his family found out he had stolen $3000 from his grandmother under the pretense of setting up online banking for her and his mother. When they found out and confronted him, he ran to live with Leslie. She found him a job working at a retirement center as a handy man (unlimited access to the rooms and belongings of elderly people :-/ ). He was fired (he claims for going to Urgent Care...yeah. THAT makes total sense.) and has since been hanging out at her apartment. Evidently she is now questioning some of his stories and has called his sister to get the truth. She first called my letter to warn her "pathetic" but it seems she is now starting to figure things out. When she does get to the point of kicking him out, he will either have to move back in with his mom (with his grandma he's been avoiding next door) or find a new woman to prey on. This gives me hope that he won't push to have Alex move back in with him.
Oh, did I forget to mention his grandma is pressing charges? And that because it is a crime against the elderly it will be a more serious charge? In fact, he might do actual jail time. I have total mixed feelings about this. He is the father of my girls. They will forever have to know their dad was arrested and did jail time. But he also has NEVER had to take responsibility for his actions. He has skated by from person to person leaving a path of destruction and pain behind him. It is all in God's hands and he knows what is best for each person in this situation. The blinds are coming off Alex's eyes more and more and it seems she is adjusting to the fact that her dad isn't a saint. She prays at night that he will make good choices so he can be happy.
I am going to sign off for now. It totally takes it out of me to tell this story over and over again. I look forward to a time when someone can ask me how I'm doing and I won't feel compelled to update them on the latest drama. I look forward to not having this time in my life be the thing that defines me or the thing that comes to people's minds when my name is mentioned.
Things that make me happy:
The thought of more and more sunshine as we get closer to summer, bike rides with the girls, having a yard to work in and attempt to grow things in, walks to the farmer's market every Saturday...and did I mention sunshine?
